System rage in online meetings: it wrecks more than you realise

In 1993 Compaq made a commercial about talking to your computer. Hilarious, I thought at the time. The promise: you speak, and your words appear on the screen. The reality is different. Most of the time we spend talking to our computers isn't because we're making clever use of voice input. We're swearing at technology. Just like in 1993.

In this piece we look at what powerlessness does to engagement, and why the answer isn't better kit or ever more advanced features, but more humanity.

Thirty years of progress, one emotion

You're in an online meeting, you want to say something, and your microphone won't work. Or your camera freezes. Or you share your screen and everyone sees your inbox instead of your presentation. It takes two minutes to fix, sometimes five. Meanwhile the whole group waits and reads your email.

That isn't a small inconvenience. Rage at technology that won't cooperate is one of the most underrated factors in online gatherings. It sounds trivial, but the effect is large. Somebody who has just spent five minutes fighting their audio isn't relaxed in the conversation. They're still simmering. They check out mentally before the content has even started.

Rage blocks engagement

It works like a wall. As long as someone is busy with technology that won't do what it should, that person isn't contributing to what is actually being discussed. And it isn't only about the person with the problem. The whole group feels it. Discomfort creeps in, impatience, distraction. The energy leaks away before a single substantive word has been said.

After years of meeting online you'd expect this to be solved. It isn't. The tools have got better, that's true. But the combination of different devices, networks, settings and updates means there's always somebody for whom something doesn't work. And the bigger the group, the bigger the odds. That frustration piles up. And you carry it into your next meeting.

Two things that help

The obvious answer is: make the technology work better. But that's half the story. The solution lies in two things.

The first is accepting that not everything will run flawlessly. And bearing that. One of the more pleasant discoveries during the pandemic was that everyone turned out to be human. Children walked through the frame, cats jumped onto keyboards, connections dropped. And the result wasn't chaos but understanding. There was more room for the person behind the job title. We have lost that room again. We expect everything and everyone to be perfect once more. And they aren't, and that disappointment only makes the rage worse.

The second is: on the occasions when everything really does have to run smoothly, organise it. For a strategy day, an all-hands or a gathering that genuinely matters, you can't leave it to chance. Make someone responsible for a smooth session. Not only for the technology, but for the human side too. Or hire help. At a physical gathering someone arranges the room, the sound, the projector and the staff for the coffee. Online you let everybody work it out alone and hope it goes well.

More than tech support

At MeetingMasters we call that in-meeting service: the human mix of online hospitality and tech support. Not hidden behind a phone number or an AI bot, but present in the meeting itself to help wherever help is needed.

That means: when somebody is struggling with the technology, you take them aside. You fix it away from the group, so the whole room doesn't have to watch. When somebody arrives late, you catch them up on what has happened so far and only then bring them back to the group.

It lives in the small things. Letting participants in on mute as standard, so nobody ever rolls into the meeting shouting at their computer, their cat or their flatmate. A bit of music as people arrive. A share that just works. An extra round of the rooms to check everyone understood the assignment.

But it goes further than buttons and settings. Most Meeting Masters understand the technology better than anyone. In the MeetingMaster Academy we also train on the personal approach and on dealing with people whose emotions are running high. What is behind someone's anger? What helps? What definitely doesn't? That isn't tech support. That's service in the broadest sense. And yes, online.

Engagement starts before the first slide

You don't organise engagement once the agenda begins. It starts the moment someone logs in. Do they feel welcome? Does everything work? Is there somebody to help when it doesn't? Or are you fiddling with your settings on your own while the rest have already started?

The difference is large. It isn't in the technology, but in the energy people carry into a session. And that energy decides whether you get a good conversation or an hour of silence with the occasional question.

As long as you leave the technology to your participants, you aren't designing a gathering. You're organising a risk.